Last Goodbye

We always part with hopes of meeting again sometime, somewhere in this lifetime. That’s what keeps the bitterness of parting somewhat at bay. Of course it is never easy to say goodbye to near and dear ones. But parting with realisation of the fact that we shall never meet again is something entirely different.

Generally, until it happens, we never really realise the intensity of the moment. We always have hopes alive in the deepest corners of our heart. We are a hopelessly hopeful race! Day after day we wake up in the morning hoping that it was just an awkward dream, we stay involved through the day hoping to hear that one call, that one soothing voice, we continuously keep looking back as we walk hoping to see that familiar smile behind, we return home hopefully hoping to see eternity behind the closed door. It’s only late at nights, as the world slips into deep slumber, that we realise what we have lost. A silent tear drops as if instantaneously and for once one doesn’t have the will to wipe away the pains. It’s not just the pain of separation, but also the pains of consciousness, of trying to accept the truth; the truth that no amount of tears, no amount of prayers can ever undo what has been done.

Last goodbye is usually the bereavement of someone close. But having to say the last goodbye is definitely equivalent to death, having to look forward to life alone or in separation.

Sometime in life I too have said the last goodbye to someone dear. Someone who still speaks to me in my dreams, someone I resort to during my deepest sorrows, with my deepest fears, someone who was gone one fine day without giving me the chance to say goodbye, without a chance to say anything. I have said my last goodbye to someone special long time back and deep inside I know I still wait for her today, with hopes of meeting in this lifetime or some other.

Finally as I end here today, I remember one instance from a movie I was watching a few days back. It’s called 4 Weddings and a Funeral starring Hugh Grant. There was this instance when one of the friends passes away and in his funeral, the best friend of the deceased recites a very touching W H Auden poem called Farewell Blues, which I feel is one of the most beautifully sad poems I have ever read (along with Tonight I can write – Pablo Neruda). I wish to share this poem in my blog because it has touched me, but for people who really want to enjoy the poetry, watch the movie, just for the poem.

Funeral Blues

W.H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.