Skip to main content

Moving on

I have been pondering over my next blog article for quite some time now. My emotional instability during this period vetoed me from concentrating on my blog. But I needed to take a break from all that and return to my passion despite the fact that a lot was changing in my life. Summing up all courage remotely available within me, I decided to emphasize on what a part of my life felt like, as I was finally walking alone.
Moving on is strange. You are always hoping that with each day, things will get easier, but there’s like a small cloud of sorrow over your head all the time and it’s always raining tears. And then, suddenly you get tired of the rain and long for a little sunshine. For the first time in days, you want to move forward and leave the pains behind. So you think all’s done and dusted and you are ready to start a new life. What is behind has been left behind and you are all ready to look ahead with renewed vigor and enthusiasm. The laughter and fun seem to be back, again, with old friends and new. You have moved on; or so you think.
The lengthy forgetting process seems suddenly over, abruptly, and the mind seems to be recuperating. All of a sudden, after days of brooding over, reading old mails and letters, filling draft folders with unsent messages and emails, suddenly the desire is gone. The number’s still in the back of your mind all the time, but the yearning to call is lessening by the day. You decide to take the next step ahead and delete all the photographic memories and even that process doesn’t hurt much. You feel fresh, you feel… Awesome…
Everything is fine, until again, emotions keep mounding up with time. It generally starts with an old piece of memory, a song, a movie, almost anything that reminds us of what we left behind. Somehow, unknowingly, we are again walking down the memory lane. And all of a sudden, it’s too much to hold back. Neither boozing nor fagging helps then. One fine morning you get up and realize it’s been days since you heard that sweet voice, held those heavenly hands and the emptiness is back again. You are back to square one and the process starts again. When this vicious circle ends is something I’m yet to know.
Like most of my posts, there’s always a musical reference… Some of my favorite English songs (there are plenty of Hindi/Bengali ones we all know of) which could make one realize that he is yet to recover are:
  • ·         Christmases when you were mine – Taylor Swift
  • ·         Back to December – Taylor Swift
  • ·         Put a record on – Unkle Bob
  • ·         Teardrops on my guitar – Taylor Swift
  • ·         Here without you – 3 Doors Down
  • ·         Don’t know you anymore – Savage Garden
  • ·         Heaven Unplugged – Bryan Adams
  • ·         Forgiveness - Eagles
  • ·         Second chance – James Blunt
  • ·         The reason – Hoobastank
  • ·         Fifteen –Taylor Swift
  • ·         What If – Kate Winslet
  • ·         Tonight I wanna cry – Keith Urban

These songs are beautiful, but at times I wish and wish I had never come across them. Sometimes it’s out of your hands to make things right. You can just sit back, lie on your bed the whole day. Sometimes hope is not an option and then you are staying alive, arbitrary and lonely. It’s then you realize that life is too unpredictable; there might be a fun in not knowing what comes next, but there’s no pleasure in not knowing what to do to be okay.
Thankfully, for all the unpredictability in the world, there’s always a friend with a direction sign. Even though their novel recuperating ideas don’t always work, in some silly and warm way, they constantly manage to touch your heart and do stuffs to make you feel normal for a split second. And you realize there’s only way to move on. It’s by holding hands of your true friends. This write up is dedicated to all my good buddies who helped me stay intact and nullified any disintegration process arising within me. Thanks for being by my side when I needed you all the most yet couldn’t summon up the courage to say so. And thanks for helping me return to blogging.

Comments

  1. AnonymousDecember 2, 2011 at 10:11 PM

    'viscous cycle of "moving on" '.... very invigorating n touching..!!
    this very article has furnished me some fresh ideas about life, memories, pain,n 'moving on'..

    ReplyDelete
  2. DeepungsuDecember 2, 2011 at 10:39 PM

    thank you, ma'am.. Nice to know that you liked it

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Let me know how you felt about this post

Popular posts from this blog

A Secret Heaven enroute Shillong, Meghalaya

The delights of finding a pocket of heaven on Earth Have you ever stumbled upon something unexpectedly good when it was least likely to happen? I’m sure you have. It’s beautiful how life works out sometimes. Hope and despair work hand in hand to churn up a magnum opus. That was what happened when we set out to visit Krang Suri Falls one July morning (Read: A drive to Krang Suri Falls ). After a seven-hour trip, we found only despair. Life gave us a shot of hope in the form of Kibo Restaurant and urged us to look up and seek the brighter side of things. Find the rainbow in the clouded sky. This is the story of what happened next. Drive to Shillong from Amlarem Krang Suri Falls to Shillong is a scenic drive Buoyed by a fulfilling meal, we continued our journey through rural Meghalaya, heading towards Shillong. The disappointments of missing out on Krang Suri Falls was immediately forgotten as we indulged in Meghalaya's picturesque landscape. There was a sight to behold at every...
1 comment
Read more

Krang Suri Falls: A long drive to Meghalaya's Masterpiece

Krang Suri Falls There are few things in the world as exciting as the anticipation of a long-awaited trip. A lot of effort is required behind the scenes to script a successful trip, and it all starts with an idea. A brainwave. A craving for the road.  A touch of Wanderlust. "Isn't it strange that we have never been to Krang Suri Falls yet?" That. That was the exact moment when it all started. Almost immediately, we were thinking about the trip. Soon enough, it was on our mind all day and then, all week. We began planning for the journey. We started scouting the route on the World Wide Web. And pretty soon, it was time to leave.  The anticipation of a long-awaited trip hits its record high on the night before the journey. On a Friday evening, we finished our chores in time and hit the bed a little earlier. My seven-year-old son, however, remained deep in thought. "What is it, Messi?" "Do we have to leave at the break of dawn, Baba?"  "Yeah....
1 comment
Read more

Laitlum Canyon: Meghalaya's own Paradise

Mother Nature's masterpieces (including the two young fellows) The second day of a trip can be either really exciting or deeply depressing depending on the circumstances. Even in Meghalaya , the abode of the clouds.  For instance, the second day of a week-long vacation is likely to keep everyone in an upbeat mood. However, the second day of a weekend trip can be quite melancholy. There's always sadness looming at the culmination of good times.  That was how I felt on a Sunday morning at Quinton Enclave, a quaint little homestay right in the heart of Shillong . We were all a little sore from our ten-hour drive around North East India the previous day. [ Also Read:  A Drive to Krang Suri Falls, Meghalaya ]  There was another six-hour drive ahead of us. The thought of holidays coming to an end only added to the gloom. I sat at the small desk, working on my laptop, but mostly lost in thought. The tea turned cold. It was a lazy morning. That was of course, until Messi wo...
1 comment
Read more

2441139

“Hello, 2441139, Can you hear me, Bela Bose?” Anjan Dutta sang this song a decade back. And yet, to some people like me, it still rings a bell deep inside. Although the original song is quite pacy, Mr. Dutta performed an acoustic version sometime back, with his son, Neel, which really melts the heart. This song has a special memory of my childhood. As a child, we always look at things at a different perspective. We seldom realise the intensity of the moment. “2441139” was a fun song for me and my cousins in Coochbehar. We play the song until the last part, where Anjan Dutt repeated sings “Hello, 2441139; Hello, 2441139....” We would dial 2-4-4-1-1 (back those days, telephone number used to be of 5 digits). An old lady would pick up the phone and we would bring the receiver close to the speaker of the stereo and Anjan Dutt would do the rest. “Hello 2441139, Hello 2441139...” Then it was growing up and stages of infatuations, understanding love and finally, falling in love. Unless ...
8 comments
Read more

RG Kar Rape: Has it exposed our Society?

RG Kar Medical College and Hospital (Image Source - OneIndia) The RG Kar Medical College & Hospital in Kolkata was established in 1886, and is Asia's first private medical college. Once the symbol of hope and excellence, this institution turned into the face of hell on August 9, when a trainee doctor was raped and murdered on duty.  Since then West Bengal has been in a state of turmoil.  The entire country has gone through a variety of emotions. The gruesome nature of the crime has sent shockwaves across the nation. Support has poured in for the deceased's family from across the country. People have been out on the street. There have been calls for reforms. There have also been conspiracy theories, and accusations of attempts to interfere in the investigation. The political fraternity has, of course, been involved in a blame game. RG Kar Medical College & Hospital has been in the news for all the wrong reasons or perhaps not.  RG Kar Medical College incident shows...
Post a Comment
Read more

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *