Goodbyes and the Optimism of Bijoya Dashami

There's no better example of "Good Times Fly" than Durga Puja. The wait is endless it seems, but when Maa Durga finally arrives, the days are gone by in a flash. All of a sudden, Dashami Evening is here and it is time to bid Maa Durga a fond adieu. Having to say goodbye is painful, but parting in the knowledge that we shall meet again lessens the agony. It is the perfect farewell and it is just the assurance that life needs from time to time. Dashami, as such, has a quiet element of optimism about her. 

Let us leave aside the mythological aspects of the event and just focus on the emotional part. In fact, let us take stock of an average person’s Durga Puja. Sasthi, Saptami, Asthami, you have had your fill of fun, adda and photographs. Let us not forget the food either, that is, after all, an equally important aspect of the Festival. The three days have sped away, as if they have far less than their normal quota of 24 hours now and you have reached the penultimate evening of the Puja - the Nabami Night.

Ah, Nabami night, the vehemently viscous being, the merciless menace that sits in the backdrop and grins at time. Remember, the night whispers, a few hours more and it is all over. Remember, it whispers. Remember and pretty soon, it is all you can remember. This seamlessly slots into every conversation and now you cannot speak two words without counting time. The lights and the glamour are all temporary and you know, they won’t last for long now.

By the time you have returned home at various hours of the night, sadness would have already gripped you. In fact, you might as well return in the wee hours of dawn, but you cannot escape the pangs of remorse. There are various kinds of feeling bad – end of vacations, returning to the stale old routine, heading back to work, to school, to college and goodbyes. The last breaks your heart into a thousand pieces. For me, Dashami means the end of vacations and return to work, hundreds of miles away from my abode. Dashami means it’s almost time to leave Malbazar. They say when you do something regularly, it becomes a part of your routine, it becomes a habit. Every year, after Dashami, I always have to say goodbye to the place I love the most in this world, yet it could never become a habit. It still pains as much as the first time I left home years ago.

This year too, Dashami was glum as ever, even though Mother Nature tried her best to cheer up my mood. It was a beautiful sunny morning, you could see the effort She put in there. There was a chill in the October air as usual, which meant that the morning sun felt comfortable, warm and loving. However, there was a sadness dwelling deep within every event of the day.

Messi accompanied his Mother and Grand Mother to bid Maa Durga Goodbye

One by one, I watched people say their goodbyes to Maa Durga, the warmth in their voices, the care in their hands and the love in their hearts. It was a colourful morning, yet you could not help but feel that everyone around was nursing a heavy heart. Morning turned to noon and as dusk settled over Malbazar, people made arrangements for the final journey. It was time. One by one, various Puja Committees proceeded towards the Ghat at Mal Nodi. I watched from the side of the road, as did thousands of people with me. Fanatic devotees danced and laughed and made merry on the way, creating enough memories to last at least a year.

On my way back, I stopped in front of the empty pandal of my neighborhood. Unlike the bright lights from Nabami night, the lovely works of art would last a little longer. There was an uncanny emptiness inside though, a desolation that was visible, but what about the emptiness within our hearts? You don’t have to be a believer to feel sad, not on Dashami. This emptiness that we all feel on Dashami is the vacuum of goodbye. For me and in reality, many more like me, the vacuum is a lot deeper. It is the knowledge that another big goodbye is just around the corner. End of vacation, return to work, even leaving one’s family behind for some. For me, the remorse is mainly from having to say goodbye to Malbazar, my home town.

Malbazar is no less than family for me, it is the fulcrum of all my memories of growing up. I have always looked around and seen images of me from the past. And so the day after Dashami, I took the path through my childhood and proceeded to dwell into my past once again. I walked by the railway track and saw myself balancing on the parallel bars. I went to my school and millions of memories flashed by. I sat on the school ground and remembered running on the grass, carefree and alive. I stood on the auditorium and pictured the morning assembly. I looked around and even saw a few of my friends by my side. I walked through the various lanes of my town and reached a bygone era. In the evening, I stood outside my house and saw myself from years ago, with friends and family, adored, cared and blessed. And I suddenly realized how Dashami is a lesson in optimism. An Optimism that is built on the most powerful thing in the world - hope.

Through all the sadness and the agony, there is hope. At the start of the day, it is minuscule, hardly evident, lost in transition. Slowly, as the night proceeded and the melancholy mood of the evening grips you, hope gathers wings. Hope resides in the knowledge that Maa Durga will be back. It will take time, it will be long and the road will be unpredictable. There will be ups and downs and life will most certainly change. I shall change in the course of the year, as might everyone else. The future will be uncertain, but there is one thing we can all count on – next year too, Mahalaya will arrive. It is an assurance that might be the only constant in life, it is a constant that feeds the hope within us and brings a sense of contentment. It is this hope in the parting that makes the farewell bearable. Like Maa Durga’s assured smile, which promises that She shall most certainly return again next year and the year after - She shall always return.

Perhaps we all need the optimism of Dashami in our lives too. Maybe the assurance will be missing at times, but hope has the ability to make up for it. It is the belief that good times shall return, it is a faith that no farewell is forever. When you care for something or someone too much, you never say goodbye. You just part temporarily, with hopes of meeting again. You are always connected through memories, through your consciousness that they have helped build. For me, Malbazar is a part of my consciousness and the hope that I shall return again and again fuels me on, to meet every day of my life with a smile. No matter how many years pass by, the shelves will always be full of memories and it is from these memories that hope will continue to draw strength.

As another long wait begins, I hope the Optimism of this Bijoya Dashami will keep you inspired to face your days with a smile too.

Subho Bijoya